My Exact Description     Attn: Too many people are IMing me, asking me a whole bunch'a cockamaime, lame repetitive questions about my basic info.. ("asl," "Where ya from?" ... "How old are you" ... "What's your location?") MAKE TIME to read my ENTIRE profile, so that you're not 1 of them, OK? I appreciate your time very much, & I know that this's a long dossier, but I do tell ALL about myself, so that there's NO surprises. You want honesty from me? Well, here it is. So, after you read the 1st paragraph, don't complain that I'm "too honest," & run off flap'n ya' chicken wings. READ IT, in it's FULL entirety. No baloney.. Thanks, & WELCOME! ---------------------------------------------------------   I´m a SWM / BHM (Big Handsome Man) / 5´9" / I was extruded on 09/24/1972 in Brooklyn, NY at 10:10 AM on Sunday morn'n / I weigh in at 260 LB / Short blk. hr. - Army Ranger-styled crew cut / Shaved head / Salt & pepper hr. / Big brn. eyes / Usually clean-shaven, but sometimes I maintain a little stubble / I wear size 12 boots, & size 13 shoes / I dress casually / Have lightly tanned skin / Wear glasses, w/black frames / No kids, but want someday / Never married. I'm SINGLE / No tatts / No body piercings / No pets / I live alone / I rent an apt. in the 'burbs' / Non-smk. / Non-drnk. / Messianic Jew (Believer in Jesus Christ).   My Attributes   *Emotionally-stable *Honest *Humorous - I love to imitate others making folks laugh & to spread cheer is a birth-gift I've been given. I LOVE to mimic old song artists, as well. Funny stuff! Lol *Very easy to talk to *Polite *Kind *Caring *Courteous *Considerate *Tactful *Creative *Flexible *On-time, (usually early, for a date) *Artistic *Affectionate *Passionate   Click this link, to view my personality characteristics!   

*S.O.S: - Looking for Old Friends From Maplebrook School Inc.*

I attended Maplebrook School Inc. in Amenia, NY, from: 02/1989 - 06/1991

 

                                                                      

My Cooking Skills

 

  I am not that bad of a cook. I really enjoy it, but I don´t like cook´n alone, all by my lonesome. Y? Cuz it blows. It sux, & it´s no fun. I would pamper you, though, if I were to cook for you. I´d make you feel like you were in a restaraunt, fa´show, babs. I love a woman who knows how to cook, & cook GOOD. I'm very good at taking something basic like a PB & J sandwich, & turn'n it into a gourmet feast. I´m VERY good at that. I love to make homemade chicken soup once in a while, although I do not do it often, as cooking alone can really suck.. I am very good at making chicken soup as I have practiced for a long time before I managed to get it right. I only use fresh ingredients, & I make it authentic, in the classic eastern european style.

    You wanna talk about some chicken salad? -- Lemme tell you something, babs ... I make slam´n chicken salad. I make it FRESH, with FRESH ingredients, not out of a can. I´m good.. I don´t use cheap bread, either. I use good quality bread.   I make chicken taste so good, that you´d think that you were eating prime rib, done up perfectly, young lady. -- I´m good. The only thing that is a bit too much of a ballbuster for me to make is fried chicken, as I do not have a deep fryer. Otherwise, I guarranty you that I could make it (assuming I have the right ingredients, & the proper equipment.)     I like a good salad every so often, once in a while.<-----See the froggy? LOL     I also like to do some italian dishes as well. I can basically make just about anything, but I normally don´t, for the reason that I don´t have anyone to really do it for (yet), but also on top of that, alot of the ingredients can be a little bit on the expensive side, so that´s a bit of a hinderance. I usually just cook for whenever I have company over.     I generally hate the tinny, fishy taste of canned fish, but sometimes I am able to cook it in a skillet & then it doesn´t taste as bad, but I do prefer fresh fish quite a bit more.  1 of the things that I am very good at making also, are FRESH juices. I love to make fresh cranberry juice, & lemonade, as well... It´s very simple for me to do.     My favorite foods are a wide variety of stuff, but only if it´s made correctly. I hate it whenever I go out to some restaraunt & a waiter/waitress brings me some poorly made slop, that´s supposed to be a well-made dish, but due to the fact that the restaraunt owner has no balls, he/she lets his/her head chef make garbage & serves the pig slop to someone like me who can tell that it´s pig slop.

 

 I'm A Pet Lover

 

  I love doggies! -- I used to have a huge cuddly basset houndypooie named ´Huckleberry.´ I love him so. He was the saddest thing in the whole wide world, & someday I´ll surely get another one. I like animals as a whole, but ... I LOVE bassets & bloodhoundies above the rest.. Bow-wow - Arrrroooooooooooooooo!! LOL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I have specific ´likes´.. -- Ask me, if yer curious. You may like them, as well(!)

 

*Miracles That Actually Happened To Me, In 11/2006! The Following is a TRUE Story. READ IT, & Dare To Believe.*

 

  I´m no yuppie, & I´m not fancy. I´m stuck in a very low income bracket, so ... I'm juss bei'n honest with ya, on my situation. The economy's very bad right now, & it was no good before the US economic crash. 5,000,000 people are unemployed in this country, several million have lost their homes, & money is very, very HARD to come by. There´s an old worldly saying, which goes: "Ya´ can´t squeez blood from a stone."

  Oh, & just remember 1 important thing, honey; just because a guy has a great job out in the world, means NOTHING. It doesn't mean that he will be honest & true to you, or that he won't treat you lousy. A lot of us are like that, but a lot of us, are not. I assure you, that I am emotionally-stable, very polite, & I know how to treat a lady. I believe in chivalry.

 

 

My Personal Transportation

  I normally get around with a silver "Mongoose-Blackcomb" dual suspension mountain bike. -- Before you judge me as to "why" I don't drive, allow me to explain.

 

                  I do not drive, because of the following terrific reasons

 

1) I know of no one who is willling to give me time behind the wheel of their car, -- including my so-called "friends!!"

2) I do not possibly see the point of owning some super-cheap junkyard piece'a crap, that's only gonna nickle & dime me to death, & would break down & leave me stranded in the middle'a nowhere. I will not put myself in that situation. Y? I'll tell you. Bu'cuz umm .... YOU are not gonna pick me up, & neither is anyone else gonna take time out of their precious busy day to drive all the way out to east 'Jabipp' ta' come get me.

3) Who's gonna pay the repair bills, when my junky jallopy kicks the bucket out in the middle'a amish country? -- You?

4) Where could I possibly park in the city? (NY city/Lancaster city/Philladelphia city/ ... (Whutever city, all of em,' busts driver's balls!!)

5) I refuse to pay 3 - $5.00/gal. for gas. It ain't happen'n, I'm sorry. Maybe you don't mind it, but I do. Fa'get it!!

  Now you know precisely "why," I do not drive. So now, there's no more mystery. Lol

  I´m well known around my town, by the name that´s affixed to my bike trailer: ´ANDYTRAK..´ Lol. That´s my transportation.

 

                                                                My Favorite Music 

  I love the 70's love songs, 80's techno/disco, & R&B. I love a wide variety of the old ones, like "The cornelius Brothers & sister Rose," -- (It's Too Late) Songs from 'Journey,' "Voices Carry" from 'Till Teusday,' "Fool"(If You Think It's Over)," by 'Chris Rea,' "Fame" by 'David bowie,' "Heart Of Glass," "Call Me," & "In The Flesh," by 'Blondie,' songs from the group 'Tommy,' "Massachussetts" by Andy Gibb(?) "More Than I Can Say" by Leo Sayer,' songs by the 'BeeGees,' & a few of the old movie sound tracks.

                                                      My Favorite Musical Artists

  Stevie Wonder, Lou Rawls, Michael Jackson, Yvon Elleman, Maureen McGovern, Johny Cash, Olivia Newton John, Dusty Springfield, Joe Jackson, Stevie Nicks, Chris Rea, Leo Sayer, & Rupert Holmes. 

  
                                              Favorite Movies 

  "The Devil's Advocate," "The Devil's Rain," "Race With The Devil," "Equinox," "The Bunker," "Fatherland," "Munich," "The Hill," "Hamburger Hill," "When Hell Was In Session," "Marathon Man," "The Amittyville Horror," "The Professional," "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre," "Hardcore," "Mississippi Burning," "Star Trek" (The original TV series) "Star Trek I,II,III,IV,V,VI," "CRASH - of Eastern Flt. 401," "Oath Of Office," "Cannonball Run," "Smokey & The Bandit," "The Grass Is Greener Over The Septic Tank," "Liar-Liar," & "6 Weeks." 
  

                                            Favorite TV Shows 

  "All In The Family," "Starskey & Hutch," "The Incredible Hulk," "The Banana Split Gang," "Laugh In," "Monty Python's flying Circus," "The Carol Burnette Show," & "Mama's Family."

 

                                                   My Appropriate Match

  SWF (Single White Female) / SHF (Single Hispanic Female), meaning: Unmarried, Single, or Widowed. NOT SEPARATED/NOT MARRIED! 25-40 years of age / 170-250LB / 5´6"-6´6" -- I would prefer that you´d be at least 6´ tall, but if not, it´s alright/ Any color hair / Any color eyes / I LOVE BBW types of women. (Big Beautiful Women). I have a thing for your type, if you´re a BBW, that is. 
  
  Please remember yer manners. I cannot stand rude, discourteous behavior. -- Especially from women. That makes me absollutely sick, & it pisses me off, so umm ... don´t be like that around me, OK?
  
  I love: a woman who has a very gentle touch, & I love when you´re a good masseur. (Did I spell that right? Lol) I love when yer a great kisser, & a slow kisser. Full lips is what I pref., I pref. big soft hands. I love women who take very good care of themselves, & in their more personal aspects of life, are VERY CLEAN. That´s something that ´d just ruin the whole thing. Please don´t be a dirty pig, who´se got some ridiculous phobia, of a bar´a soap. I'm not putting up with that from anyone anymore, & besides that, it's extremely offensive, & depicts severe laziness, personal sloth, psychiatric problems, & pure, & utter stupidity. - BE CLEAN, & do not smell bad, all the time. Been there, done that.
 

  I so look forward to finding a woman that knows how to cook,  & can do it really well,  without turning me from a hot air balloon, into an outright blimp. LOL I hope that if you can cook well, that you primarilly make healthy stuff for me. I love homemade italian dinners.      Do you have any special ´likes?´ Please tell me. I do care about your feelings, ya know.   !PAY ATTENTION! Your Faith ...   ... does not matter to me. But, I will ask you this. No matter whut your beliefs are, do not stand in judgement of me, for my being a follower of Jesus. I'm not yer judge, & yer not mine either, so I'm asking you as an honorable woman that you do not stand in judgment of me, for those reasons, as a minister in His doctrines. - I'm not looking for women who deal with me like that, & anyone who chooses to mistreat me in that fashion, will be ignored, & heavilly criticized. I'm not gonna sit idly by & be treated poorly by miserable women. - If you do not know how to be fair, merciful & appealing to me, & come across to me as an honorable & a pleasant woman, then take a walk please, madaam. IF yer not that type of coldblooded individual, I welcome you into my life, & I appreciate yer time. :o)    In case you´d like to contact me to explore the possibility of a relationship, PAY ATTENTION!

 

  ALL calls are screened, so ... don´t get stupid.

 

 

  1 last thing on the list for the snakes only: DO NOT come to me, if you're a male-female "transgender." I'm NOT looking for that, understand? I'm not it, baby! GO AWAY. I'll tell you why: IF things get steamy, & I find out yer not a female .... That's not good news for you. Make double, & tripple sure, that you are a female BY BIRTH. Thass juss the way it is. Period. I'm glad we ALL understand, ladies!

                               My Location & Yours. !PAY ATTENTION!

  I am only accepting a relationship from those of you who live within 300 miles of my zipcode here in Lancaster, PA, of: 17602. (A concession may be made, but that depends firmly upon IF yer willing to come & visit me for a new relationship(?). -- Inquire within.)

 

My Feelings About "Long Distance Relationships"

 

  I approach those types of relationships with extreme caution, as they have attendancy to well ............ fail, miserably. I mean quite honestly, it depends IF yer really that impressive to me, (or not.) IF. & I mean ... IF you're that impressive to me, with a very good attitude ... a good heart in the Lord, & I know that you're sincere, & truly desire to meet up with me, then terrific. I give you my word, that I am sincere in my intentions, in that I will meet you at the appointed place, unless I drop dead of a heart attack from eating too much Cornbeef Hash. LOL -- Seriously ... I give you my word on that, that if you & I make up to meet somewhere, I will do the very best that I can to be on time, to meet you. We could make up a time & a place to meet in public of course, & that would work for me.

 

!NO FOREIGNERS!

 

  Is that clear enough for you? You must live here in the USA, & be a LEGAL citizen of the USA, if you so desire a relationship with me.. NO exceptions, & NO baloney! IF you are here in this country, on a "temporary VISA," I am happy for you. I'm glad you're here, But ... GO AWAY. DO NOT WASTE MY TIME. I cannot offer you a relationship, nor am I willing to. There's several good reasons why, & believe me, I've got'em. I'm sorry, but I don't trust you.

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Attn. Women:        

 

 

 

Due to continued unrealistic expectations of a lot of you wanting me to add you to my buddy list for the purpose of keeping me as some basic internet "friend," or some "pen pal," I am no longer adding women to my buddy list. PERIOD. I have absollutely had it with your type, who, contacts me in an IM, & then needles me with all sorts of stupid questions pertaining to my asl/whut dating sites I am on ... as well as your type who, completely ignores me, after making believe that you're interested in me. I have also had it with cam whores ... women who just send me their link to their slutty website, & those of you responsible for that offer nothing ... do nothing for me ... & yer behaviors are nothing.    

 

My information is CLEARLY listed in my personals dossier, so there;s NO REASON t oneedle me in an IM, with your questions. Wake up! Yer acting like some Ostridge (Did I spell that right? LOL) with her head in the sand! NO "JUST FRIENDS," NO strictly internet "buddies." Is that now clear enough for your type? Do you understand now? -- If I want a basic "friend," I'll go to summer camp! I have my "buddies." They're my male friends. I've got them baby! I am not looking for some female "friend." Please clean the fly-shyte out of yer eyes & read what I have types in the simplest, most common sensical english. I'm not explaining this again, to ANYONE OF YOU. GO AWAY! Yer unable to fulfill my needs as a guy, yer unwilling to anyway, because as a cam whore ... or a teasing witch ... YOU DO NOT HAVE THE GUTS to want to even so much as shake my hand in person. Y? Cuz' yer a coward. Most of you aren't even friendly to me, anyway, so I could care less about whut yer type thinks of me or my profile. I DON'T CARE, anymore. All yer type cares about is whut YOU want, not whut a guy wants. your type has no respect for a man's feelings ... NO respect for how you hurt him ... none of that! Yer behaviors, are like ... worthless. A pure pile'a stinking, Pagan shyte!    

 

If you're expecting me to add your screen name to my buddy list to keep you as a friend, then umm ... you're gonna have to come across to me as a REAL friend, FIRST. There's gonna be no other way to do it, & I am no longer wasting my time wth anyone like that I do not find your behaviors honorable, attractive, or kind. So take yer phoney internet bullshit lying shtick elsewhere, OK? I'm not interested in you, I don't like ya' type, & quite frankly, I am NOT looking for that.     Let me ask you a question ... whut good are you possibly going to do for me, if I were to add you to my "buddy/friends" list, on my account? Can you please explain this to me? You offer me absollutely NOTHING. Why should I have to answer your questions in one of yer ball-busting, & needling IMs?  

 

Women Who Rudely Ignore Me, On Line    

 

Who in the hell do you people think you are, anyway? Yer type is sooooooooooooo rude! I am so sick of people like you who, when I send you a polite email, I get flatly ignored. Whut in the hell's yer problem? Have I done something to wrong you? Am I responsible for yer kid getting sick? Did I cause a death in yer family? Have I offended you with the fact that I happen to know whut I want precisely in a relationship, -- as I boldly state in my profile?  

 

!NO FOREIGNERS!

 

  Is that clear enough for you? You must live here in the USA, & be a LEGAL citizen of the USA, if you so desire a relationship with me.. NO exceptions, & NO baloney! IF you are here in this country, on a "temporary VISA," I am happy for you. I'm glad you're here, But ... GO AWAY. DO NOT WASTE MY TIME. I cannot offer you a relationship, nor am I willing to. There's several good reasons why, & believe me, I've got'em. I'm sorry, but I don't trust you. You contact me telling me that yer from Russia ... Africa ... France .. China ... Japan ... Denmark ... Sweden ... England ... Ireland ... ANYWHERE over seas other than the USA, you automatically get blocked & snubbed. PERIOD.

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For: Male-Teasing Cowards

 
 

 

  Between all the phoney profiles that alot of you women put up coming across as ready to jump at the first guy, to the ones that ask me a million questions in an IM & then three hours later reject me after your lead me on, I could not possibly begin to tell you how turned off, diappointed, & UNIMPRESSED I am in your type.
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
  Is there not 1 among you who isn't like that? I mean ... I don't so much care so much that you're not of the Christian faith although that is what I would rather prefer to have, as much as someone who doesn't waste my time with bull****. Your type demands that we be sensitive to yer needs & honest, but when a guy like me is, you flat out reject me, & I hate that. I think it's completely phoney, hurtful, & have come across so much of that online already, I am fed up. ENOUGH!
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I'm sick to death of one of you half-naked cowards with no shirt on, or laying in bed wooing a lonely guy like me to get close to you, & you take a s*** on me, by telling me that I'm wierd, or I look like a loser as one b**** did to me on one of the other dating sites.

 

  You demand that a guy like me is honest & forthcoming, but yet you are not even honest. You do not have the guts to have a REAL picture of yerself posted, in most cases. Those of you who chronically tease us, think that all we are worth is to be teased & poked at with a stick. -- Just like going up to a lion in a cage. But oh, how safe you are, on the other side of that cage, with yer litle stick in hand. That makes you mis-leading, a do-nothing tease, & an immature COWARD. I've seen thousands of women like you all over the net teasing us like that. Yer type is ALWAYS the 1st to cry foul, when we make an advance towards you, & I think you SUCK, for doi'n that. REAL women don't act like that. REAL women are RESPONSIBLE for how they treat us, They're kind-hearted, MERCIFUL upon our feelings just like alot of us are, believe it or not. There's a whole lot of good men out there too, ya know.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

  So to all of you who came across to me like that up to this point, thanks for NOTHING, because that's all you can offer a good guy like me. NOTHING, baby! - Zippo! Nadda. In order for you to feel safe the snake that you are, is to hide away in your snakes den infront of yer computer, with yer shirt off, or yer pants off, laying on yer bed infront of yer webcam, & offer guys nothing but yer deceptive shtick. It makes me so sick. I just thank God that I'm not some dude who's got all kinds of clout in a Stalinist type of dictatorship, cuz I'd lock yer a**** up for that reason alone. & It would be for the crime of teasing men without follow-through, with provoking a guy to act & trash'n his feeln's, by reject'n him. -- People have feelings, sister, as hard as it is for a feminzi like you to understand or comprehend.

  Ya know what would really impress me? If you could strip yerself naked noton the outside ... but on the inside. BE HUMBLE, be polite ... BE YOURSELF. Because even though you have your clothes off exposing your silky-smooth bodies, your insides are black as coal, & you've got ice-water run'n through yer veins. So ya know what? Don't call me baby ... Don't call me honey ... Don't call me "DEAR" in the opening part of your phoney email to me, because you just flatly don't mean it. If you'd spend half the time in being HONEST with a guy in yer online profile as you do getting undressed & posed up for yer phoney naked online PIC, one of you would have me by now. Quit act'n like such half-assed do-nothing lameduck wanna-be women, already.
 
  I love your type who writes down in yer profile something like:
 
  "I'm honest, outdoorsy (Like I request) No phoney guys! I'm not into game-playing, or players." (Like I request) "I'm not looking for a one night stand" (Like I request) ... or "no head-games." (Like I request) ... or ... "If yer looking for a one-night stand, then I'm not the girl for you." (Like I request)
 
  Do you have any idea how many of YOU I've sent emails to in the past freak'n 5 years? ... & I've not been a player, I've not been dishonest .. I've not just sent you an email seeking sex, or just to see yer boobies. I have been absollutely polite to your type, I've been completly honest, I've come across as nothing less than friendly, & courteous to your profile. All I've gotten back is some sh**-bird answer like: "hi" or .. "so tell me about yourself" or ... "umm .. ok" !! So whut the hell's the catch? whut's sooooooooooooooooooo impressive about you? -- I mean you demand that we work & according to what some of you write, yer like: "No job, go away!" Who cares? (I am an Evangelist, & I work for God. I share the gospel, & my testimony with people of the miracles that Jesus performed for me in my life, & He sends people my way to help me out.) -- That's my work. I'm faithful to Him, that's what I do. My goal in life is not riches, as I don't believe in that worldly doctrine. -- For those of you who are Christians or profess to be anyway, then you know exactly what I'm talking about, or you should know. Money is a good thing & a blessing, but not when it's all that you focus on, in life.

  I WANT A 'WIFE.' Not all at once certainly, but you know what I mean. Someone to lead up to that point. Too many of you think that we expect you to marry us at the get-go, or hop in the sack on the first date, & not all of us are like that. I'm not! Too many of you assume that we're

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
  I've been nothing but polite, courteous & upfront to people like you online for the past few years, & I've goten NOTHING out of it. -- I have sent over 3,000 winks & friendly emails to people like you in the past year alone, & I've gotten NOTHING out of it. Answer me something ... Whut in the hell am I supposed to do? Whut's so impressive about you, anyway? I mean ... you may look gorgeous on the outside, but on the inside, well ... you know whut I feel about that(!)
 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Guys ...~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 
  It's not right to do it to the ladies, so come on man, let us not feed into that stuff. (Sexually-tease the ladies, lie to them when we know it ain't right.) Also guys ... How about one of you sticking up for the truths of which I've spoken in here about the teasing women instead of just making believe that it isn't happening? Does not one of you have the balls?
 
  I sincerely hope that you & your type of "woman" if that's what you call yerself, gets the same lack of mercy that you show us! You will reap what you sow. I appreciate your rejecting me. 
  
 
  Thanks for nothing.

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 OK now, I'm gonna be really honest here ladies, so don't start run'n away, like a chicken. This states who I am most suited to. Make time to read it.
 
 
 
~~~What I LOVE In A Woman Like You~~~
 
  ILOVEBBWwomen. (Big Beautiful Women). BBW WHITE, or Puerto Rican women. (Those are the types that I go for.) I love those of you, who are tall & are thick in girth. I love those of you who have big, soft hands. I really love a woman who has long hair, especially when you wear your hair in poney tails, over yer shoulders. I LOVE the way that looks! That style is just so gorgeous, to me.
 
  I also love when you give me a really thorough ****-***. That's my all-time favorite. I seek a woman who also knows how to take her time during a French kiss, & drags it out for a long time, like I like to do. 1 of the turn-ons that I have is for a lady's ****-****.
 
  I desire you to be the type who out in public, would take me in an alley or somewhere private, & just make the hottest, most passionate love with me, that you can. Perhaps a really thorough ****-*** as well. I absollutely love that. I'd say between a really good ****-*** & a really tight *****. 
 
  I LOVE the type of woman who, knows exactly when & how to give me a really thorough ****-***. 1 of my X girlfriends had that quality in her, & I absollutelly loved that!
 
  I really hope that yer like that(!) I really hope to find a woman who is also a great cook. That would be just great, by itself.
 
  I only like to be with those women who take really good care of themselves, as far as personal hygien. If you smell bad, It ain't happen'n with me, babs. Nope. I really love a woman who is a big 'cuddler,' like I am. I really enjoy that, & I seek nothing less than that.
 
  I seek someone for the loooooooooooooooooooonoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong haul, baby. Not some 1-nighter, 2-nighter, or 3-nighter (so to speak). I seek someone who's gonna be great in EVERY aspect that I've mentioned on this page. I'm not a womanizer. I'm an Evangelist, & I desire a WIFE. for it mentions in The Book of Proverbs: "He who finds a wife, finds a good thing." Not a fling, not a basic, "just buddies" type of thing, & NOT some "pen-pal," whutever the hell that's supposed to do to fulfill my needs, I'll never know(!) Lol. I ask you, who among you is able to handle what I've wrote down here so far?
 
~~~~~What Am I NOT Seeking?~~~~~
 
  I do not seek just some 1-nighter, or some cheap pole-dancer, or some chick who loves to tease men by dancing half-naked infront of some dude, or one of you who will give some dude a "lap dance." IF you love teasing men without follow-through, including for yer living, well then, I'm sorry, but I do not approve, & either you'll find another line of work in a respectable field, or I just will not oblige to give you so much as 1 minute in any kind of close relationship with me, personally. Any woman who sexually teases a man without the intention to follow up with action, is phoney, unlady-like, & has NO conscience;--NONE, or a sense of mercy. To the contrary, yer behavior tells guys, that yer a coward. You want mercy? Then learn to give mercy to others. Teasing guys like that, especially when it's foolishly done to me, is NOT the least bit wise, or mpressive to me, at all. I'm glad I wrapped that up with a neat little bow. Lol
 
  I'm not after some woman who all she cares about, is standing me up, or telling me she'd rather hang out with her "buddies," because women like that won't get so much as 1 minute from me. My patience will run out very quickly, I'll get really p****d off, & I'll reject you at my fastest possible convenience. I don't find it appealing, attractive, or sexy in any way shape or form. It hurts me too much to be stuck with someone like that, & I deserve much much much better, than that. If you desire profitability from a relationship with me, then you'll be very careful not to treat me like that. Please don't take me the wrong way, here. -- I'm not saying that you can't have any friends, or anything like that. Networking is a great thing, & meeting new people is really good. BUT ... make time to be with me. I'm not putting up with ANY woman who ignores me all the time, or puts me on the back burner all the time. Hell no. "Been-there-done-that." No more.
 
  Yer cold-blooded? Here's someth'n for ya: Have a field day: * I'd much rather be alone, than be stuck with someone like that. IF you tell me you care about me, or especially that you "love" me, then act like it. Otherwise, take yer phoney shtick elsewhere.
 
  The 1 thing that I really hate more than anything other than sexual teasing with no follow-through, is when some chick tells me that she "loves" me, in the 1st email. -- Honey, listen up. Ya don't love me, because ya don't know me. I may be nice to you in my reply to yer add on some dating site but all I am, is just a stranger to you, until you get to know me. Nothing more. Get it in perspective, OK?
 
~~~~~~~Are You The 1?~~~~~~~
 
  So, in closing, are YOU the right 1 for me? Are YOU able to offer me everything that I've spoken about in here? We'll see. Ya' talk up a good game in yer add, huh? We'll see! Put it to brass tax, baby. I wanna see whut you have to offer me in the way of a relationship. IMPRESS me, baby. Now I mean, you could stand there & judge me from now till kingdom come, but hey, that's yer loss. I happen to be a pretty nice guy, & I am a good boyfriend. I'm also monogamous, & I am true to my partner. I'm not into cheating. i have the balls to tell someone to go fly a kite, that I may go after another woman for a relationship, but I am no cheater. PERIOD. My friends think I'm a very nice guy, anyway.

  I assure you, that I'm emotionally-stable, very kind, & I am actually pretty funny, when I'm around my friends, & I cannot wait to share that with you. I love to mimmic others, & spread cheer. I love to make sound effects to make others laugh. It's a birth gift I've been given.
 
  Sincerely,
 
      Andrew Friedman

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  In 11/2006, I came home one night, feeling broken, & beat down by the world. I was just about broke, I had no relationship with my family in the previous 5 years, & it was very poor anyway with them, so ... I also felt like ending my life right then & there, due to continuous thoughts of hopelessness, as well as other tormenting thoughts... social ´fears,´ as well as this unfounded fear that people were tryn´a kill me, in the middle of the night.

  It was the wierdest thing; I felt ´compelled´ to just start praying. I said:

  "OK, Jesus. Help me. You win. I can´t do this anymore. IF you´re real, You show me! Here I am .... I´m sorry I cursed out my parents & for rejecting you. Here, look ... I´ll call my father to appologise to him .... (So, I called my dad to appologise to him, & after I called him up to leave him a messege, I cried out): Look. You see? I told you! Where are you, Jesus? Help me, please. I can´t do this on my own anymore ... Please forgive me. Help me! I´m sorry I rejected you ..."

  So I´m standing there with tears running down my face staring up at the ceiling as if I was ´expecting´ to hear from Him, or feel something, -- & I did! -- All of the sudden, I felt this overwhelming peace come over my entire body. --

 

1)  The tormenting thoughts of hopelessness, & ending my life, INSTANTLY left my head, & in that very second, those feelings were replaced by the soothing, comforting, & emotionally-stabilizing Holy Spirit. 

 

2)  God's Holy Spirit instantly healed my bottom left rear molar, as well. Even though the dentin was exposed & is still exposed on it still to this day, the pain is no longer there. It simply vanished, the very second that I started opening up my heart to Jesus. - No dentist would do work on my affected tooth, because they refused to accept the insurance I tried to use through the state of PA. Nice, huh?

3)  My right ankle was diseased; it used to lock up on me, an average of 10 times per month, & was stiff practcally every other day, in that 5 year period. I had a medical condition called "Effusion" in the joint, as was discovered via an MRI examination of my right ankle & foot, in late 10 ... -- It instantly healed up, & when no other Dr. helped me because I have NO insurance to cover an operation. -- I was snubbed & rejected in emergency rooms by several different "Dr..´s." - both in NJ, & here in PA. Not surprising, in this cold-blooded medical system! -- JC healed my ankle, when the world litterally coldly turned it´s back on me. I was miraculously healed, in an instant! --

 

4)  Since I was 16 years of age, I had troubles with nightmares which got very chronic a lot of times. Primarilly, when I was living on my own in NJ & here in PA in the later years of my formerly unsaved life, I had continuing thoughts of hopelessness, which when I lived in NJ, got to be just terrible, after I started living out on my own. As the years progressed, they got even worse, & even some types of psychotropics were not effective to hold them back & in fact what the Dr. gave me at the time, made me suicidal!! - The worst part of the whole thing in that nightmare, was that the pills made me as fat as a damn pig!! - To this day, the meds have ruined my body, that I am unable to shed the weight that the pills caused me to put on, from back in 06/1999. How interesting!! All of those torments which I have just mentioned, completely vanished, on the spot. -- The unbelievable happened.

 

5)  I had terrible bouts of anger, & rage during parts of my adult life when I lived in South Orange, NJ, in 2000. It was really bad, & the anger came upon me suddenly, & I used to cry a lot ... I always had the urge to just wanna break down & begin to sob, for no reason, I was a broken man. Broken, indeed! not so much on the outside appearance, but on the inside, I was in shambles.

  My roomy at that time where I used to live, in 60 first st. (Apt. 2) in South Orange, NJ, was always very tolerant & helpful to me & he was there for me, when I would freak out & start throwing things -- may God be with him, for it.

 - I still keep in touch twith him to this day, but he's not too good about returning my phone calls. Oh, well. But he was very very nice to me, & I love the guy for it. He's a great man. He lives alone these days. He too, has heard of my testimony from me, as you could well imagine(!)

 

6)  The last year or so, I had trouble with controlling my anger, by way of yelling, & cursing from time to time. It wasn't that terrible, but it was still at times noticeable enough, by people in my immediate area, where I still live. My 1st floor neighbors are witnesses to the fact that I have change, & can see remarkable differences in my former behaviors. There were times when I used to jump up & down on my 3rd floor bedroom floor, on the thisrd floor of this old hundred + year old building, & you can imagine how the top half of the building would shake rattle & rol due to my stomping full-force upon the ceiling. I bascially had a lot of trouble controlling my ability to vent out my anger, & it came out forceably like that. Lol - It would have been vvery intimidating to bare witness to first-hand up-close, believe me! I almost got evicted for it, in NJ. I came a hair's breath away. - Whew! I was just really tormented & broken. After the miracles performed within me, - He must have repaired my soul, besides allowing me t ohave a portion of his Holy Spirit, because I've NEVER gotten that angry, that I felt the need to stomp up & down so visciously, as prior to that point.

 

  I mean whut can I say? I am so impressed by the works that He has done in my life, that I must narc, tattle, boast, & tell you all about this, so that you too, can experience this, if you so desire. - Please continue, & read on!


                          Some Of My Old Habbits, Prior To 11/06/2006

  I used to draw airplanes all the time, since I was a little kid. I over-focussed on them as I love aviation, & as an adult, I drew planes nonstop 12 hours a day stuck in my strong-hold, not going anywhere in my pseudo-misery (so to speak), & after that moment in 11/2006, I just lost the compulsive urge, stopped drawing. It just ceased, all at once. No meds ... No counselling .... No "help" from the world. Amazing. Absollutely amazing. I would have never believed that such a thing was at all possible, if it didn´t happen to me, personally. This was not some phony-balony televangelist put-on; -- this was an actual in the flesh, in yer face experience, & I attest to it to be the 100% truth.

  I can forgive people now, I´m no longer suicidal ... I´m not full of hate ... I´m not severely obsessed with my former passion of drawing airplanes day in & day out like I´ve been doing for my entire adult life prior to 11/2006, & I´ve gotten the relationship back with my parents, which means a whole hell of alot to me. I went from being a selfish, vengeful, unforgiving individual, to having a sudden hunger for knowing more about this amazing deity that from what I used to hear so much about in the world throughout my life up to that point, was this dude who healed the blind, the lame, & the sick, 2000+ years ago! - how fascinating, huh? no one EVER witnessed to me of the miracles that jesus Christ performed in a person's life, so i had no idea, that what happened actually was possible, or that it would ever happen to me. -- But, IT DID. I went my whole life up to that point, living in fear, with inner torments & a lot of times, horrendous nightmares which you can't even believe, & some that cannot even be discribed ... In my adult life it was even worse ... i'm telling you, as the reader, that the deity of Christ will without any question, work a miracle(s) in your life, IF you choose to call upon Him in prayer. I am a solid witness to it, so listen to what you're being told in here, my friends. I love you all enough to tell you the truth of what transpired.

 

Behold:

 

The Gospel According to

         MARK

              9 : 23

  9

 

23  ""Jesus said to him, "If you can believe, all things
are possible to him who believes." " 

  Shortly before God saved my soul through JC, I used to be in counselling for hateful feelings I had towards everyone who wronged me, w/other bad thoughts, & at the moment that I was healed. It was the wierdest thing. I just knew that I was made right, by my faith in Him(!) When it happened, I automatically went over to the phone, & cancelled all of my future Dr.´s appointments. There simply was no more need to go to further sessions as I was not suicidal any longer ... I was not hateful of people any longer. It was all over. (The inner torments in my life, as the former unbeliever).

 

   Behold:

 

   The Second Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the

                        THESSALONIANS

                                  3 : 3
 
3  "But the Lord is faithful, who will establish you
and guard you from the evil one."  

 

At that point, that´s when I suddenly put ´2 & 2 together´ as they say, once I received the Holy Spirit, & believed evrything that was written in whut I now know to be the soveriegn Word of the Only living God, & His Son as told of, in the New Testament, beginning at:

The Gospel According to

          MATTHEW. -- Also He is prophacied about, in the Old Testament!

 

Behold:

 

   The Book of

   ZECHARIAH           

      3:7-10  

 

 

3  

 

 

7  "Thus says the LORD of hosts:

          "If you will walk in My ways,

        And if you will keep My command,

        Then you shall also judge My house,

        And likewise have charge of My courts;

        I will give you places to walk

        Among these who stand here.

8    'Hear, O Joshua the high priest,

       You and your companions who sit before

             you,

        For they are a wondrous sign;

        For behold, I am bringing forth My Servant

             the BRANCH.

9    For behold, the stone

        That I have laid before Joshua:

        Upon the stone are seven eyes.

        Behold, I will engrave it's inscription,'

        Says the LORD of hosts,

        'And I will remove the iniquity of that land

             in one day.

10  In that day,' says the LORD of hosts,

        'Everyone will invite his neighbor

        Under his vine and under his fig tree.' " "

 

"The demons tremble at His name." Amen. Neat, huh?

  Let me say, that ANYONE who tells you that the Holy Spirit of God, or His Son Jesus Christ does not exist, or that He does not heal, or that the Holy Spirit is not real, is nothing more than a liar, a misleading snake, a false-prophet, & are an anti-Christ, as warned of, in the NT (New Testament):

 

Behold:

 

The Second Epistle of           

PETER  

2 : 1 - 22  

 

 

 

1  ""But there were also false prophets among the people, evenas there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Lord who brought them, and brng on themselves swift destruction.

2  And many will follow their destructive ways, because of whom the way of truth will be blas- phemed.

3  By covetousness they will exploit you with de- ceptive words; for a long time their judgment has not been idle,and their destruction does not slumber.

4  For if God did not spare the angels who sinned, but cast them down to hell and delivered them into chains of darkness to be reserved for judgment;

5  and did not spare the ancient world, but saved Noah, one of eight people,a preacher of righteous- ness, bringing in the flood on the world of the ungodly;

6  and turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah into ashes, condemned them to destruction, making them an example to those who afterward would live ungodly;

7  and delivered righteous Lot who was op- pressed by the filthy conduct of the wicked

8  (for that righteous man, dwelling among them, tormenting his righteous soul from day to day by seeing and hearing their lawless deeds)--

9  then the Lord knows how to deliver the godly out of temptations and reserve the unjust under punishment for the day of judgment,

10  and especially those who walk according to the flesh in the lust of uncleanness and despise author- ity. They are presumptuous, self-willed. They are not afraid to speak evil of dignitaries,

11  whereas angels, who are greater in power and might, do not bring a reviling accusation against them before the Lord.

12  But these, like natural brute beasts made to be caught and destroyed, speak evil of the things they do not understand, and will utterly perish in their own corruption,

13  and will receive the wages of unrighteousness, as those who count it pleasure to carouse in the daytime. They are spots and blemishes, carousing in their own deceptions while they feast with you,

14  having eyes full of adultery and that cannot cease from sin, enticing unstable souls. They have a heart trained in couvetous practices, and are ac- cursed children.

15  They have forsaken the right way and gone astray, following the way of Balaam the son of Beor, who loved the wages of unrighteousness;

16  but he was rebuked for his iniquity; a dumb donkey speakingwith a man's voice restrained the madness of the prophet.

17  These are wells without water, clouds carried by a tempest, for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.

18  For when they speak great swelling words of emptiness, they allure through the lusts of the flesh, through lewdness, the ones who have actually es- caped from those who live in error.

19  While they promise them liberty, they them- selves are slaves of corruption; for by whom a per- son is overcome, by him also he is brought into bondage.

20  For if after they have escaped the pollutions of the world through the knowledge of the Lord an Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in and overcome, the latter end is worse for them then the beginning.

21  For it would have been better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn from the holy commandment de- livered to them.

22  But it has happened to them according to the true proverb: "A dog returns to his own vomit."2(PROVERBS 26:11) and, "a sow, having washed, to her wallowing in the mire.""

 

  I reccommend the NKJV, as myself, & my other evangelical brothers & sisters agree on this variant. Check it out, sometime.

  As far as the influence yer "friends" may have over yer decision, who cares whut yer "friends" think about it. Friends are fickle & generally undependabe, -- ESPECIALLY those of em,' who are still heathen, their souls not having been born again, through Jesus Christ. I´ve got another astonishing revelation for ya ... People in general, are not yer judge, so remember that.

  At this point, I´m a prayer warrior, in the Christian faith. He has shown me that He loves me for who I am, & most importantly, that He has forgiven me for my blasphemies, for the self-exhaltations & pride in my heart. He's shown me that I´m now a partaker in His inheritance, & promised rest. He has given me the right to enter heaven after my physical body dies. Yes, not by my own might, but by God's grace & mercies. Just think ... if you open up your heart to him, He will do the same, for you, too!

Behold:

JOHN 6 : 47 - 51

 

6

47 " "Most assuredly, I say to you, he who believes
in Me has everlasting life.
48   "I am the bread of life.
49   "Your fathers ate the manna in the wilderness,
and are dead.
50   "This is the bread which comes down from
heaven, that one may eat of it, and not die.
51   "I am the living bread which came down from
heaven. If anyone eats of this bread, he will live
forever; and the bread that I shall give is My flesh,
which I shall give for the life of the world." "

 

 

 

My Way Of Life

 

  The life I lead goes like this: I witness to people around my town & tell others of the miracles that Jesus did for me. No, I´m not a pastor, but I do minister to people around the town from time to time of Jesus & who He is, & of the miracles that He performed in my life in 11/2006. In return, the Lord sends people my way to help me out with a variety of things, from time to time. (Food, little things like that ... etc.) That´s what´s called living BY FAITH. Through Faith in Jesus Christ are we healed, as what is spoken of, in the New Testament.

 

 

My New Position In Life; Putting It All In Perspective:

 

My Being A Follower Of Christ Does Not Mean ...

 

...that I've lost my manhood
...that I no longer have feelings like the average Joe who, has not been forgiven his sins, by Christ
...that I am 'poifect,' as I am quite 'impoifect.' I've only been forgiven of my sins, through the blood that was shed on the cross at Calvary -- & also by my choosing to open up my heart to Him, in prayer
...that I do not know how to laugh & have a good time with my friends, saved, or not. My friends love my sense of humor, & my imitations o everyone else including farm animals. Lol
...that I am not a human being, with human emotions like you. I have them! So, please don't take a crap on me, & neglect me & my feelings. You would hate it, done to you, OK?
...that I forgot how to make my partner feel good privately -- (you know whut I mean!) I KNOW how to do that. TRY ME!
...that all I know how to do is to quote scripture, because I am knowledgable in a variety of areas of conversation., so kindly do not stand in judgment of me.

 

  OK, the other thing lastly is, that just because one follows Him, does not mean that they are supposed to sit feeling lonely with their thumb up their but (so to speak) We are human beings, who have feelings as before we received a Spiritual annointing, & we still have struggles out in the world, just like you do. Me personally, desires a woman. - NOT just any woman, either, though. I would prefer that you be a Christian/Messianic Jew, but IF you're not, OK, so be it. I'm not yer judge, & As long as you don't play mine, we'll get along just fine, OK hon? Lol  Thanks.

 

  If you so desire to come to Jesus, that your inner torments/physical problems (health problems) be eased & eradicated, please refer to the way in which I have provoked that supernatural response from Him, in the beginning of my testimony, as written in italics, in purple. I will nonetheless, leave with you the reader, a similar prayer that you can use, which I garrentee you, WILL be effective.

 

  The following prelude to provoking a supernatural response from Jesus Christ, attaining the heavenly supernatural healing:

 

Behold:

 

1)  Stop & reflect upon all those times that you've cursed people out, & hurt others, as well as taken vengeance.

2)  Examine what is wrong with you - either physically, OR mentally, or both.

3)  Think of all of the hate that you feel towards a lot of types of people - perhaps for no logical reason(?)

4)  Remember all those times when you have had massive & overwhelming feelings of fear, feelings of people trying to kill you, as well an unfounded fear of the dark.

5)  Think of how you may have been afflicted with epilepsy, unexplained joint problems/unexplained fears or feeling like you have a major compulsion to just do the same thing, time, & time, & time again, without it getting you anywhere. - This is demonic interference, as mentioned in:

 

The Epistle of Paul the Apostle to the

                  EPHESIANS.

 

Behold:  

 

6 : 10 - 18
 
10  ""Finally, my brethren, be strong in the LORD and
in the power of His might.
11  Put on the whole armor of God, that you may
be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
12  For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood,
but against principalities, against powers, against
the rulers of darkness of this age, against spiri-
tual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
13  Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that
you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and
having done all, to stand.
14  Stand therefore, having girded your waist with
truth, having put on the breastplate of righ-
teousness,
15  and having shod your feet with the preparation
of the gospel of peace;
16  above all, taking the shield of faith with which
you will be able to quench all the firey darts of the
wicked one.
17  And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword
of the Spirit, which is the word of God;
18  praying always with all prayer and supplication
in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all
perseverance and supplication for all the saints-- ..."    

 

You must remember 1 thing. You must pray the following prayer to Him with a humble heart, try to focus on Him, & EXPECT Him to come to You. EXPECT Him, to make a powerful presence, in your life, that you may be healed of your torments, & You WILL be healed, you will be well, & it WILL be well with you & your soul. This point, is the end of your old life spiritually, & the beginning, of your new feelings at ease, your soul at peace, & your thoughts having been calmed by Him, after He comes into yer life.     May God bless you richly, in Jesus' name. Amen.

 

    & Now the prayer, commonly refered to, as: 'The sinner's prayer':    

 

'Dear heavenly Father, I come to you at this time with an open heart & an open mind, to knock upon the door of Your Son, Jesus Christ.   Lord Jesus, O King, I ask You Lord, that You please forgive me of all my sins.   I'm sorry, Lord Jesus.   I apologise for ignoring You, Lord.   Please don't take my life, or allow Satan to punish me, anymore.   I ask You Lord Jesus, to please come into my life, that I may be healed of my torments & health problems. (NAME THEM, if you can.)   Lord Jesus, just as you say in:  

 

The Book of     

JOB  

33:25-30  

 

25  "His flesh shall be young like a child's,

        He shall return to the days of his youth.

26  He shall pray to God, and He will delight

             in him,

        He shall see His face with joy,

        For He restores to man his righteousness.

27  Then he looks at men and says,

        'I have sinned, and perverted what was

             right,

        And it did not profit me.'

28  He will redeem his soul from going down

             to the Pit,

        And his life shall see the light.

29  "Behold, God works all these things,

        Twice in fact, three times with a man,

30  To bring back his soul from the Pit,

       That he may be enlightened with the light

              of life."    

 

I ask You Lord Jesus, to please be gracious unto me, & allow me Your Holy Spirit, that I may be healed, in ALL areas of my life.   Lord Jesus, I ask that You please send some of Your faithful servants my way, that I will be able to learn more about You, & what You expect of me.   Please help me, Lord Jesus.   Thank You Lord, for dying for me on the cross at Calvary.   I'm sorry, for my disobedience, Lord.   Please come to me, Lord Jesus, O righteous King.   Thank You Lord Jesus.   Amen, & amen.' 

 

The End Result Of The Prayer

 

  After you have spoken out that prayer, with a humble heart, He will fill you up, with His Holy Spirit. Then, you will have new desires, peace, serenity for the time being, & from that point on anyway, when you call upon Him in prayer just to tell Him your feelings, you will know that He WILL be near to you, & that He will hear you, & comfort you, with further allowances of His Holy Spirit.

 

  Thank you so much, for taking out time from your busy schedule, to read my testimony. I appreciate it, & may the Lord be with you.

 

 

 

 

 

Sincerely,

 

    Andrew Friedman

 

      DELTA_flt.1189@yahoo.com

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